I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki ft Strawberry cake

I first picked up I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee because of the title—it was so blunt, so honest, and oddly relatable. Little did I know, I was stepping into a deeply introspective journey that felt both heavy and comforting at the same time.

The book is a memoir-like account of the author's conversations with her therapist, covering themes of depression, self-worth, and the contradictions we carry within us. Baek Sehee speaks candidly about her struggles with dysthymia (persistent depressive disorder), the weight of societal expectations, and the search for meaning in everyday life. The structure of the book—transcripts of therapy sessions interwoven with her reflections—makes it feel intimate, like eavesdropping on someone else's thoughts while recognizing pieces of your own.

Reading this, I found myself nodding along to so many of her realizations. It doesn’t offer a neat, inspiring resolution—because life doesn’t work that way. Instead, it normalizes the ups and downs, the small moments of joy in the midst of feeling lost. It’s not a book that tells you how to fix everything, but one that makes you feel a little less alone in the mess of it all.

So, what treat pairs best with a book like this? For me, it’s strawberry cake. Because, despite everything, I love cake. I love baking. Sometimes, I feel really down, but then I remember that cake exists—and somehow, that thought alone makes things a little better. I’d been craving strawberry cake for weeks, and when I finally made it, it was delicious. Light, sweet, and satisfying—like a small reminder that joy still finds its way in, even on the hard days.